Once upon a time, a girl came upon a book blurb that seemed to make no sense. The premise was simple. A Met copper, DS James Henderson, is on the trail of a murderer who had killed two women. One of whom will put him in the crossroads of his rich and powerful father’s world.
Upon the happening of the second murder, the blurb states, “Soon James begins to fear that these crimes lead dangerously close to his own heart and home. And now, he risks losing everything he’s made of his life unless he can expose the sordid truths that have bred this bitter legacy.”
A girl shelved the book as maybe. And so it passed that the book was mentioned to her when she was in a reading slump by a well-wishing reading buddy.
“It’s like those Agatha Christies you love,” she said, “Only this time with the sex you’re always complaining about that it’s missing.”
However, the asexuality of Christie’s sleuths, victims and coppers isn’t so much a pet peeve so much as it is a girl is just an incorrigible horndog.
“What kind of sex?” a girl asked.
“The kind that will break your heart,” the reading buddy answered.
A girl still hesitated, “What kind of mystery is it?”
The reading buddy answered patiently, “Murder mystery dear.”
“Yeah, but what kind? Police procedural? Cozy? Noir?”
“It is a police procedural set in England dear.”
A girl felt patronized, so a girl kept the book shelved in the maybe pile. A girl was stupid.
When she finally got around to wanting it, she couldn’t afford it. In a karmic stroke of misfortune, no one was willing to buy her the book. Including the reading buddy.
“Just wait until you get your sodding pay check,” the reading buddy said.
A girl begged. It was ugly. Disgusting. Heart breaking.
“You’re just like the fools in that book. Wait for your pay check,” the reading buddy declared unflinchingly.
And so a girl waited. Then she bought it. It came. She read. And she saw. Agatha Christie would be proud. I think. A girl doesn’t talk with dead people. A girl needs to go mend her heart. A girl hasn’t been this blown apart since Mufasa was thrown off a cliff.